DCTP Shorts: A Collection of Timeless Random Stories

[Kleene Onigiri]

:V!

[PT]

XD

brb killing Parkur

Don't hurt him too much, he still has a game to GM.

[Akonyl]

hey now, nothin wrong with a little self-smoochin :V

[Callid]

Great story, that one
(And me being the rules' lawyer feels totally accurate as well XD)

[Akonyl]

I said I'd write a story, so here it is. Hopefully I didn't leave anything out as I cobbled it together

Spoiler:

The wind outside the tavern howled incessantly as the patrons inside drank to keep warm. A blizzard of snow bellowed across the now-snowy plains, behind the windows that had long since crusted over with ice and snow and now only let in a trickle of light. The patrons didn't need to see the blizzard though, they knew it was there. The snow never ceased, nor did the howling of the wind. Never. Not since that day.

Things weren't like this two years ago in Offtopia. It used to be a peaceful land, with bright skies, beautiful plants, and warm weather. It was a rare sight in the polar regions, a sight which owed its existence to the shining aura of the Phoenix's Tear, which kept the inhospitable wastes at bay. The good times ended when the man known as the Blue Thief entered the kingdom, a seemingly harmless thief that would steal petty things and perform magic tricks for the crowds. People thought his antics to be humorous at first, and he was appointed as the Boy King's court jester, however this was only his plan. With free reign to the castle he quickly found his true objective locked in a vault in the deepest of dungeons: The forbidden Jade. Much like the Phoenix's Tear, it was a highly magical stone, but its powers were much darker: It had the power to bend others' to its masters will, invigorating those of weaker wills into such a hyped up state that they could be likened to ravenous animals. Using its power, he turned the army against its commanders in the Royal Guard and stole the Phoenix's Tear for his own purposes. Nobody knows for what purpose he chose to harness the Tear's powers, but the end result was the same: The castle was massacred, plant life froze, and the endless blizzard begun with the start of the "Blue King"'s reign. From then on, the peoples' lives became a day-by-day repetition of the same horrible situations in the same horrible conditions. Until today of course (why else would there be a story?), when the door to the tavern creaked open. Standing there was someone... new.

All eyes stared at the man as he made his way to the bar in his tattered clothes. He sat down and ordered a whiskey.

"Whiskey?" the bartender laughed. "Look pal, I don't know where you're from, but did you take a look around when you came in? It's been snowin' like that for two years and we haven't been able to make whiskey for just as long. Didn't take us long to drink all our stores, either."

"Yeah, guess I forgot," sighed the mysterious wanderer.

"I'll tell you what I do got," said the bartender, as he poured a glass of mysterious booze for the mysterious wanderer.

The man looked at the glass in disgust. "It's... blue."

"It's booze."

He shrugged. "Fair enough," he thought as he drank a sip from the glass. "Hmm... not bad. What is it?"

"I know, right? It's a specialty of mine," smiled the bartender, "back when this place was prettier I bred plants to get the perfect source of alcohol. That's made from the blue Akonyberry, just about the only damn thing that can survive the frost. Only thing edible, at least. So it's all we have. So, what brings you here anyway? Can't imagine it's any better than where you came from."

"Let's just say someone stole from me and I intend to make him pay me back."

The bartender looked at the man's clothes and laughed. "I can see why, you look like you could use as much money as you can get your hands on."

The man shook his head. "It's not like that. The man I'm talking about is the Blue Thief."

At the mention of the name, all sounds in the room stopped in stunned silence. The silence hung uneasily in the air until the door swung open and a woman stormed inside. "Tha Blue Thief?! Ah'm a better thief than he'd... ever hope to be, hic!"

"Ma'am," the bartender sighed, "I told you, you're way past drunk and you're disturbing the patrons. I've banned you from this bar like, 5 times now." The bartender pushed the woman outside and closed the door. "But anyway, the Blue King? What possible business could you have with him?"

"What's it sound like? I'm here to end his reign, after he killed my friends and turned my unit against me."

"Your unit? Could..." the bartender raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying you're part of the former Royal Guard? I thought the entire Royal Guard was killed by their subordinates when the Blue Thief got hold of the Jade... did... did anyone else survive?"

"Nope, I'm afraid it's just me, as far as I know. We were caught by surprise, by the time I'd dispatched my former soldiers they'd gotten too many cheap shots in on me for me to continue fighting. The others weren't so lucky... I had to retreat."

"Oh, I see..." the bartender sighed wistfully as he looked down and rubbed the ring on his right hand.

"Good bunch of people though. The commander of the Twenty-third battalion, that idiot... no matter how hopeless any situation was, she could rally the troops into a fervor so that they never truly lost hope. Then there was the Red Ninja of the Fourth battalion, who you could never hope to be able to track on the battlefield."

"Red? Why red?"

"It's a battlefield, why do you think?"

The bartender laughed.

"The name 'Red' might fit the commander of Seventeenth more though, considering that she refused to ever have the blood washed from her uniform. I have a feeling that she was a bit of a sadist, the Cleaver-Maiden, but I figured it was something best left alone. Then there were the two 'twin tacticians' of Seventh and Eighth, the 'Professor' and the 'Detective'. They both made up brilliant strategies, though the Professor was more renowned for the paranoia his would inflict in his enemies, while the Detective was more well known for using a tommy gun and dressing up like a 1950s gangster."

"A 1950s gangster?" asked the bartender, confused. "You mean he cosplayed as one of those villains in one of those 'Earth-World' comics?"

"Yeah, he was some sorta weirdo. Good guy, though. The one I remember most though was the Demon of the Battlefield, of Fifteenth battalion."

"She'd prefer 'The Cleaner', though," remarked the bartender.

"Though, she liked to be called Th... yeah, The Cleaner. She and I were considered opposites in many ways, so we got a bit of a rivalry started between us. That Demon excelled in one-on-one combat, with her punches that could destroy even buildings, while I... well." The man finished his drink and got up to leave. "I figure if I can kill the guy, I can repay my debt to all of them and settle that rivalry once and for all."

The bartender scoffed. "You may be a former member of the Royal Guard, but what makes you think you can win where she failed? Where they all failed? It'll be a cold day in Hell when that entire castle is defeated by just one man."

The man smiled and laughed. "Funny, because this sure looks like Hell to me. I said that the Cleaner was my rival, and with good reason. While she was a master of one-on-one combat against stronger foes, I threw entire legions of soldiers into chaos with my skills. While people feared her strength as demonic, they feared my wrath as if I was a divine messenger of God. This time, I won't be surprised. This time, they're gonna pay."

The bartender shook his head and laughed. "Speaking of paying, whose tab should I put this drink on, in case you survive?"

"The commander of Twenty-first battalion, the Chaos Angel."

[mangaluva]

Interesting... hah, this sounds like a setup for a good fight! XD

[Vylash]

ako you bastard

[Akonyl]

ako you bastard

what :V

[Kleene Onigiri]

That's great XD

[Vylash]

ako you bastard

what :V

stop putting things on my tab

[Akonyl]

ako you bastard

what :V

stop putting things on my tab

well maybe you shoulda paid for it then, bub.

[Kleene Onigiri]

Spoiler:

[sonoci]

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

Ako berries! \o/

I'm going to need to go through this thread  And I wonder if later I should post...

*cough* I'm going to be busy reading for awhile

[Akonyl]

Spoiler:

in my mind, they were just light blue grapes, but I think I like this more

[Eve]

This will take awhile.... but meh... I can alsways save these tories and read later (.... In the millions years to come XD)