DCTP Writing Group

[Stopwatch]

Neat idea. *hides away pathetic previous attempts at writing*

Does that imply you'll participate?

Potentially. Put me down in the "others interested" list ^^.

[Hime-Chan]

It's a really nice idea, and I'd also like to be put in "others interested", because I haven't written anything in a really long time (but it may change, we never know!). I wouldn't mind writing reviews in the meantime

[alicetama]

I would definitely be willing to participate in this. The thing is, though, that I'm very busy lately with college applications and school, so I may not always have the time to write a short story. On the other hand, I've had this idea in my head for a while for a novel, and this would be a great way for me to start that. (I basically have everything planned out, all I need to do is write it. xD)

So, yeah. You can put me on the list!

[Shiromi]

I'm definitely interested in this. When I am taking classes I have zero freetime, so it'd be something that I'd be participating in off and on.

One change I'd make is that I'd include Open Office documents in the word processing file types. It's free-ware than can be installed on any operating system. DOCs require purchasing the hideously expensive Microsoft Office, so not everyone will be able to do those.

[Stopwatch]

I'm definitely interested in this. When I am taking classes I have zero freetime, so it'd be something that I'd be participating in off and on.

One change I'd make is that I'd include Open Office documents in the word processing file types. It's free-ware than can be installed on any operating system. DOCs require purchasing the hideously expensive Microsoft Office, so not everyone will be able to do those.

I'm fairly sure google drive can read .docs (and possibly edit them or change them to a gdoc format so they can be edited if need be? In fact, gdocs in general are good). Just, there isn't a version of Open Office for iPads that I can see. Idk. It'll probably end up with what's best for the majority.

[aly_angelflight]

You can open .doc files in OpenOffice (and it's actually-updated descendant, LibreOffice) just fine. It's .docx files that could cause problems.

I'm willing to join, too.

[Kor]

Added people to the lists.

As far as the format goes, I suppose we'll be able to figure this one out better after the first piece is distributed. I know that for my first piece, it would have to be in PDF, because I use Celtx (for screenplays).

Speaking of which, I think a good starting date would be this Friday, so over the week, I'll need all of the participants (and the others who are interested) to send me their email address over PM (that is, unless someone objects to email distribution, and we'll need to think of something else.)

The question is: who wants to go first? I have something prepared (for the most part), but I don't mind if another person wants to be first.

I am generally hopeful that after (let's say) the second week, we'd be able to do two writers per week (and maybe raising the max for word count), but that will need to be determined later.

There's also the question of "how much is too much" regarding participants, but I don't think we passed that line yet.

[Iwamoto Yuri]

even though I love the idea I'm horrible at writing pieces randomly for a set point in time...
would love being on the interested list tho~

[mangaluva]

I have a finished novel that I'm constantly editing and throwing at people to review, and I also have a short story that I keep thinking probably needs to be a little longer and could do with some suggestions for. So I'm good to go any time. (Just remind me to resave them in a new file format, because I do all my writing in Microsoft Word so all my file formats are docx.)

[Kor]

Okay, I flipped a coin on who's first (between me and mangaluva) and mangaluva won, so she'll be first.

So here's a schedule for the first cycle of turns:

01/24/14 - mangaluva
01/31/14 - Kor
02/07/14 - slot open
02/14/14 - slot open
02/21/14 - slot open
02/28/14 - slot open

All the writers - post when you would like to have your turn.

[Commi-Ninja]

I can join the cycle sometime in May once school is out.

[mangaluva]

I was really confused that date for a minute, I was like "okay, so I'm posting mine on the first of Fe--what the hell month is that?" XP

So how are we doing this? Do I email it around, email it to one person, what?

[Kor]

So how are we doing this? Do I email it around, email it to one person, what?

I kinda want to try this week to see how a distribution without a supervisor works, so I'll PM a list of the email addresses on Friday to all the writers. (as long as people actually send me their addresses. So far got only one ).

[Kor]

Not a fan of double posting, but oh well.

Critiquing: UNTITLED DRAFT by mangaluva

Since you wrote this for the contest you linked to earlier, some of my thoughts will be related to the guidelines of said contest.

It was an easy read. I think you're pretty good with giving descriptions, and you managed pretty well to deliver the settings slowly throughout the story, so I think I can understand pretty well the world of your story.
The biggest moment of the story for me was when the harpies were mentioned. It delivered a sudden sense of danger for the characters and interest to me as a reader, so kudos on that.

I think there are some elements that can improve the story, though.
First of all - the characters, and specifically their motivation.
I didn't feel I got enough of a grasp of why the characters are doing what they are doing. I suppose Tiffany and Susan are doing it because it's their job and they need to get their income, but why are they working in this job?
It also felt like there wasn't much conflict overall for Tiffany. Susan did her thing, and Tiffany tagged along. While adding a conflict between the sisters might make it enter the "cliched territory", I feel like making Tiffany slightly less passive would help the reader care about her more.

The following relates more to the guidelines of the contest.
I feel like the pacing was a bit off for this mini adventure. For the first few pages, I know they are preparing for this Tracking thing, but I don't know what to expect, and this feeling went on for quite a while (especially when they are walking in the forest) so it felt a little stale. When the word "harpies" was mentioned, I was sparked with an interest. As far as that goes, then, I'd suggest to either make the first half a bit shorter (so we can get to the exciting part faster), or explain more specifically what they are doing a bit earlier, so the reader knows that some exciting action will happen later.
As far as the action goes, I feel it was a bit too short. They catch the harpies pretty quickly and that's pretty much it. The struggle with the harpies could be more intense, so there will be a greater sense of danger. Someone could get hurt, injured, etc. If you want to add more to the story, that's where I feel it should be. The guidelines also mention: "Give us a galloping adventure or a slow burn that ends with a bang." Perhaps after the sisters sell the harpies, they could be attacked on their way back by a different, more menacing creature.

The dialogue for the most part was fine. The only point which threw me off was this: “There,” Madame said with a sigh. “Done. Do you have any idea how it feels to be shouted down by a woman who’s had her vocal chords diced by a manticore?”
Kinda feels too obvious as an exposition, so I think you should find a different way to deliver this piece of information.

(I hope I didn't sound too critical)

[mangaluva]

No, this is really helpful! It makes me think that maybe I was too focused on the plot twist that their day (or pre-dawn) job is trapping mythical animals and not enough on the sisters. Maybe the trap does go too well for Tiffany's first hunt... I should rewrite that sequence to allow for Tiffany screwing up somehow and having to make good to convince her sister that she's ready to work with her.

I also considered making Madame the girls' aunt, with either an explicit or implicit suggestion that the girls' parents were trackers too and that whichever of their parents was Madame's sibling formed a sort of business partnership with her, one tracking down and capturing creatures and then Madame breeding and selling them. Perhaps that'll work better for fleshing out everyone involved.

Hmm. Perhaps Tiffany majorly screws up on the initial capture, but then at the end they get jumped by more harpies that are after the bait that Madame gives them and Tiffany redeems herself by ensuring a successful capture.

Thanks a lot for the feedback. I'm always aware that there are gaps in my writing but I'm really terrible at spotting what they are