DCTP Shorts: A Collection of Timeless Random Stories

[bluekaitou1412]

Volume 4 up tomorrow.

ARGH TOO MUCH IDEAS

Edit: http://forums.dctp.ws/viewtopic.php?t=4247.0
And oh, yes. Volume 4 up tomorrow! TO-MO-RROW!

[Abs.]

Bk is here!  Is it story times!? 

[bluekaitou1412]

Volume Four

Spoiler: Screw JDC

"Why not conquer Japan?" was the cat's nonchalant suggestion.

"Are you kidding?!"

She smiled playfully at his reaction. "Well, you said you have nothing better to do."

SIX MONTHS LATER
JDC EAST HQ CONGREGATION HALL

"...so, to the new members, I welcome you to the Japan Domination Committee! FREE MANGA FOR ALL!" As usual, after hearing those last four words that attracted many, the crowd went wild.

When the applause and the cheers died down, the speaker proceeded on explaining the rules of the JDC. He was completely oblivious to the conversation between a middle-aged man and a teenage boy amidst the large number of new recruits that month, and even if he knew, he wouldn't care.

"I reckon that guy behind the podium is the JDC's President?" asked the man. "I'm surprised. He's awfully young. If I were to guess, I'd say he's only 18."

"Yeah, you're right. But then again, almost all of them are young. Look at that." He pointed to the rows of chairs at the right side of the large hall. "Those are the officers of the JDC."

"Oh... Hey, that one's kinda cute."

"You mean the one with the cat ears? Nice try, man. That's the West's President and one of the founders. You'd be fired in no time if you try hitting on her."

"Eh?! How about that one?"

"The one sipping tea? Hahahaha!" The boy laughed so heartily it was a good minute before he noticed the annoyed look of the man he was talking to. "Ha... ahem. Sorry. You see, I doubt she'll even remember your name-- no offense-- but she really tend to forget things. And I'm serious. That's the reason why she's the JDC's Yorozuya, or in other words, Jack-of-all-trades. Between you and me, I'd say she's a bit onion-skinned, if you know what I'm saying."

"Hmm... what a shame... oh! That!" The man's eyes sparkled. "The girl with the fur glove-slash-paw!"

"If you have a death-wish, be my guest." The boy shrugged.

"Huh?"

"She commands the bears. You know, those big, ferocious animals lined outside. I trust you noticed them? They're on sentry duty today."

"Now that you mention it... how about that one holding a sword?"

"I believe katana is the right word, she's--"

"No. Don't tell me she's a ninja?"

"Ha! You guessed right. And from a famous clan, to boot."

"And the one beside her? The girl wearing a black suit, and by golly! Eating a riceball!"

The boy couldn't help but smirk. "She's called a riceball, herself. Kleene Onigiri, perhaps the most dangerous of the officers-- the Mafia representative. If you want to taste steel, again, be my guest."

"Oof." The man flinched, but recovered almost immediately. "That girl, with a book on her hand. She seems, well, normal."

"I doubt she'll even notice you. She's always busy-- and she's a grammar nazi, too."

"Oh, I get it... Wait, you mean she's the infamous mangaluva, the strategist of the JDC?! I've heard she's a freaking Chessmaster!"

"That's her alright."

"What a crazy bunch... but hey, they're all hot one way or the other." The man grinned mischievously. His eyes darted from one girl officer to another. "Now what do we have here? Another normal-looking JDC officer!"

"Her name's alicetama. JDC's Lolita. Expert con-artist, extortionist, and spy. Definitely a force to be reckon with, so don't be fooled by her looks now. Behind that innocent facade lies a sly fox. She had been on and off the base though. We...er...the JDC usually puts her up as their insider, because infiltration is her specialty."

"Geez... so I guess that one sitting four seats to the left is another beautiful freakazoid?"

The boy raised his eyebrow. "Freakazoid?"

"Yup. You know, freaks. Pretty much all of them are that, if you ask me. Bears? Ninjas? So, what's that girl's job?"

"The JDC Interrogator."

"Interrogator?!"

"I suppose you know what that means if someone is an interrogator, right?"

"I certainly don't want something to do with her if that's what you're getting a--" The man's mouth fell open. "HEY!" He grabbed the boy's shoulders and shook him. "THAT! THAT GIRL! Isn't that PRINCESS YURIKO?! I thought she went missing! Ooooh... CHANCE!"

The boy disdainfully pulled the excited man's hands away from his shoulders. "Isn't it obvious? She ran away from the palace to join us...the JDC."

"Hm. I've heard rumors... Wait a minute, that girl was not there earlier!"

"Who?"

"The gorgeous one eating a cookie."

"Ah. RJ."

"So, RJ's her name, huh? Hm? Can you tell me something about her? Hey, now that I think about it... Why do you know a lot about the officers?!" The man's eyes widened when the boy remained silent. "WHO ARE YOU?! You're not a new member, aren't you? Don't tell me... you're a sp--"

The man never got around on finishing his sentence for two alarming gunshots echoed inside the hall. The speaker behind the podium was shot.

Suddenly, men dressed as samurais and skunks poured inside the premises. A group of them shouted "REVENGE!" and charged at Commi and Rohoph, although the two officers were obviously prepared as they struck down their assailants with skill and speed.

"GET DOWN, EVERYONE!" One of the officers wielding a huge dice shouted while the rest of the high-ranked officials ran to the speaker who was shot dead. "Quick! Get that shit out of here! Tommy, xcom, secure the area!" The external advisor, Rellik, commanded the two men wearing bullet-proof vests. "Someone get the President and take him away from here!" A young lady, who just entered the scene, shot several flaming arrows to block their opponents.

The man, after witnessing the said events unfold, was confused and deliriously frightened. "Hey, isn't that the JDC President?" he said while pointing at the dead body of the speaker. "Why did they call him shit... Could it be-- a conspiracy to bring him down?!"

"None of the sort."

"How would you know? The hell, get down already! LOOK AT THOSE SCARY GOONS! IF EVER I ESCAPE HERE ALIVE I'LL BE SURE TO SPREAD THE WORD THAT THIS SUCKER OF A GROUP IS ONE HELL OF AN ASYLUM!"

The boy, who stood beside him, chuckled grimly. "And I in turn, will make sure you get what you deserve, talking like that in front of--" He was interrupted when he heard a familiar voice from behind.

"Ao-kun! Hurry, this way!" RJ quickly held the boy's arm and tried to drag him away. "mangaluva was right! They will attack today, good thing we placed a double instead of you! Damn skunky snipers!"

"What about C? The new recruits?"

"ccppfan is already inside the escape vehicle. The recruits will be protected. Now, let's go!"

"Wait" The boy grabbed the man's collar, by then standing with a shocked expression on his face. "Don't you show your face in front of me again. I know your kind, perverted COWARDS." The man couldn't even answer, for he was trembling in fear. He heard it all and now he regretted his actions. "Die for me, will you, Pops?" The boy punched the man straight into the face, knocking him unconscious.

"Eh? Ao-kun? Why did you..."

"I'll tell you later." And together they ran away from the battlefield.

Moral Lesson: It's a conspiracy!

Spoiler: Just Bee-cause

Akonyl was walking along his precious flower patch when suddenly he heard squirting noises. He immediately ran to the direction of the sound.

There he saw his daughter, Striprice, shooting his flowers with a water gun. Horrored, he stopped her.

"No!!! You're killing the plant!"

"What's this ruckus, early in the morning?!" Kleene, his wife, went out of the house after hearing Akonyl's distraught voice.

"Your kid is killing my Sunnystripes."

"My kid?" Kleene raised her eyebrow. "What's so important about your cross-bred flowers, anyway?" She turned to her daughter. "When you water the plants, you have to be gentle to not hurt them." She took the nearest watering can and showed her the proper way. ''See?"

"I see no point teaching her that. She must be punished!" Akonyl dramatically raised his fist into the air.

"Sometimes, I really want to tell you that she's not your-- I mean, you want this?" Kleene, in turn, pointed her fist just a mere inch in front of her husband's face.

"Er... No. Anything but that."

"Good."

Striprice, who was listening to her parents little squabble, yawned aloud. "Dummies. I was shooting the bees."

Without further discussions Akonyl grabbed her daughter's water gun and shot aimlessly at the flowers. "DIE! DIE! DIE!" He ran away and chased his imaginary bees.

"Mom, was Dad really that crazy when you met him?"

"Um... I'd better not answer that.

AN HOUR LATER

"So, Dad" Striprice asked the moment her father stepped inside the house "Did you kill your evil bee?"

"Don't ask."

THAT NIGHT

"Can you be so kind and handle it with care? I'm suffering here."

"No." Kleene pushed the cotton swab hard at the big reddish spot swelling on Akonyl's nape.

"OUCH-- okay that did it-- OUCH!"

"Hurts, doesn't it?" she said with a mocking smile.

"Must you torment me further, my dear riceball? OUCH!"

"It was your fault not mine, so bear with it."

"My fault?! MY FAULT?! I THOUGHT I CAN HANDLE THEM! I WAS ARMED--OOWWWWW!!!!"

"Yeah, with a kid's water gun."

Moral Lesson: Next time, bring a jumping rope too.

Spoiler: Skadoodles

Part One

alicetama was writing names in her con notebook when her cellphone rang.

"Hi, alice. What are you doing?" out came the voice of Tommy from the other line.

"Nothing."

"Want to go out to lunch?"

"Sure."

She closed her notes, locked her room, and took her car keys. She drove to the nearest restaurant.

She was busy looking at the menu when her cellphone rang again.

"You know, when I said wanna go out to lunch, I meant with me."

"Oh."

Moral Lesson: You can drool over that cheeseburger now.


Part Two

"I know! I feel the same way! YES!" Phoenix was talking over the phone, and it was a mystery for Commi as to whom she was busy conversing with for the past three hours. "Oh! You like it? Me too! It was awesome! You rock!"

"AMAZING. Our families... Our medical histories... We could be twins!" She paused for a moment, and then said "Anyway. Thanks for the chat. Bye."

"Who was that?" Commi, who was listening intently at her sister, finally had the chance to ask after she put down the receiver. "Some friend of yours?"

"Oh that? Nah. Wrong number."

Moral Lesson: Weird. Just plain weird.

Spoiler: Author's Notes

Next volume will be released after 3 days... or more.

[Abs.]

Moral lesson summary: The cheeseburger and jump rope are involved in a weird conspiracy! 

[Elika12]

Moral lesson: Don't call a interrogator a freakazoid. *torture tools in her hands*

[Commi-Ninja]

Moral lesson:  PT is weird.

[Akonyl]

hey now, I thought that part about it being abs's kid was taken out! D:

[Abs.]

[bluekaitou1412]

Eh? I never wrote anything about it being Abs.'s kid.

[PT]

*insert crazy giggling here*

Moral lesson:  PT is weird.

And you more than anyone should really be used to my weirdness by now. You've had 20 years to figure it out.

[Akonyl]

Eh? I never wrote anything about it being Abs.'s kid.

...this is true

either way, D:

[bluekaitou1412]

*insert crazy giggling here*

/gasp

[PT]

*insert crazy giggling here*

/gasp

You should probably be running. I've been told that me giggling is never a good thing.

[bluekaitou1412]

Eh? I never wrote anything about it being Abs.'s kid.

...this is true

either way, D:

Would you want a clarification story?

You should probably be running. I've been told that me giggling is never a good thing.

*runs*

*comes back* I forgot I still need to write Phoenix <3 Akonyl

[Akonyl]

Eh? I never wrote anything about it being Abs.'s kid.

...this is true

either way, D:

Would you want a clarification story?

I don't know man, I JUST DON'T KNOW

but after all, they are just stories. I mean, my name isn't Greenstripe at all.