Thrilling FanFics by me?! UPDATE (OnlineReader,PDF,MP3,Exclu

[akai-kun]

And short update, as I previously announced there will be an update within the next days back then.

TOMORROW will be that day.

See you~

[akai-kun]

Okay, so the next chapter is coming up, let's say within the next hour because I now have to type it into my PC. (Yeah, I first did hand-write it. )

So, but to give you a preview:

There is another big twist in the story coming up, this one will be further developed within the next chapters. It's about James Black as well but not as you might think right now.
After having written it, I had some thoughts if I really should do that one just now but I'd said to myself, you kept them waiting for months, so put it all out now and give them an awesome story as bahlf of an apology to them.

So, here it is, I'm deeply sorry for the very long-waiting time but you see, I'm back for good now.
Thank you once more for your continuing support, the 'topic reads' are thanks enough but I would really like to hear from you, you can choose between posting or sending a PM but I'd really appreciate it if you would tell me your thoughts and hopes about/for the story. Thank you in advance.

The new chapter will be up this hour, so stay tuned~


  **//UPDATE:  Okay, Word just crashed and that right at the moment where I was saving the document, so I have to type it in again but since it's already late (in my country), I'll do it by tomorrow, I am sorry for that. But as for that, I will reveal exclusive information about the forthcoming chapters in my new author's commentary. Hope you can live with that compromise...

[akai-kun]

And here I am excusing once again, sorry first word crashed and the other day I lost my internet connection. And the days after that, I simply had no time to spare, I will update this thread with a new mind-blowing chapter on Friday and from there on, let's see what will hit the streets...
Again, sorry for the little delay.

[akai-kun]

I'm deeply shocked about what happened the whole last week. My computer didn't get an internet connection the whole time and I was sitting at my Pc trying and trying, but nothing worked. For now, I've found a way to get over the probelem and therfore I think the promised chapter will be up by late tomorrow.

[akai-kun]

SHORT NEWS:

I'm sadly putting new updates on a hiatus. Let's hope it won't be for too long.

[akai-kun]

Okay, guys, read carefully.

HIATUS ENDED.

A new release is coming within the next two weeks, with luck, even this very week. Sorry for the long waiting time, but you can't slow life down...

See you all soon with an all-new story-part~

[akai-kun]

So, it was a long hiatus from February to July, and I'm deeply sorry for it. But rest assured, I now started writing again and I have proof which I think is needed as of now. The full chapter will be released soon, I'd say within this week. But for now, here are the first lines of #34.


James Black entered the building and with him death once again struck the air. He was an angel of death, a killer to hire, well, not exactly, but it was close to the real thing and he liked the sound of it. The whole floor seemed to be rushing from desk to desk. Something must have happened. As if she could read his mind, Jodie caught up to him and briefed him. ‘Nalters, you say?' ‘Yeah, you know him?' He shook his head but the truth was, he knew him. Nalters was the codename of one of the most promising agents that ever entered the organization’s training facility. Why the hell was he going rogue in Tokyo and no one told him or even asked him. ‘Well, to get the full dimension of the current happenings, I will take this case personally, please notify my secretary, would you?' ‘Yeah, no problem. But James.' ‘Yes?' ‘Be careful, I don’t want to loose you, too.' He nodded and smiled at her. ‘Nah, you know me, I can’t die in action.'

Any first comments? And be sure to catch up on the older chapters.

[sstimson]

So, it was a long hiatus from February to July, and I'm deeply sorry for it. But rest assured, I now started writing again and I have proof which I think is needed as of now. The full chapter will be released soon, I'd say within this week. But for now, here are the first lines of #34.


James Black entered the building and with him death once again struck the air. He was an angel of death, a killer to hire, well, not exactly, but it was close to the real thing and he liked the sound of it. The whole floor seemed to be rushing from desk to desk. Something must have happened. As if she could read his mind, Jodie caught up to him and briefed him. ‘Nalters, you say?' ‘Yeah, you know him?' He shook his head but the truth was, he knew him. Nalters was the codename of one of the most promising agents that ever entered the organization’s training facility. Why the hell was he going rogue in Tokyo and no one told him or even asked him. ‘Well, to get the full dimension of the current happenings, I will take this case personally, please notify my secretary, would you?' ‘Yeah, no problem. But James.' ‘Yes?' ‘Be careful, I don’t want to loose you, too.' He nodded and smiled at her. ‘Nah, you know me, I can’t die in action.'

Any first comments? And be sure to catch up on the older chapters.

short file for a minor edit ok how about this:

James Black entered the building and with him came death. He was an agent of death and he enjoyed the sound of it. The whole floor seemed to be moving from desk to desk as if something had happened. As if she could read his mind, Jodie caught up to briefed him. ‘Nalters, you say?' ‘Yeah, you know him?' He shook his head but the truth was, yes, he did. Nalters was the codename of one of the most promising agents to ever entered the organization’s training facility. Why did he go rogue in Tokyo?Why had no one has said a word about it to him? ‘Well, to get the full impact of the current situation, I will take on this case personally, please notify my secretary, will you?' ‘Yeah, no problem. But James.' ‘Yes?' ‘Please be careful, I don’t want to loose you as well.' He nodded and smiled at her. ‘Jodie, You know I can’t die in action.'

[finex999]

very awesome

[akai-kun]

So, something always goes wrong and sadly, I didn't put any new chapters up for a long time now. But I plan to release some after New Years Eve. Until then, enjoy this little treat and have fun.

"Blood was dripping down from his mouth on the ground, giving the floor a cold red colour. He couldn't understand why. Why did he hit him? What gain had he from seeing him dead, after such a long time their ways did cross now? And then it hit him. There never was a chance for him to win. Every step of the way was destined. Everything had been controlled, from the beginning on. He was expected to loose. He would loose, he knew it now. His time was over..."

Merry Christmas & happy New Year, see you soon~


P.S.: Comments, please. Thank you.

[sstimson]

So, something always goes wrong and sadly, I didn't put any new chapters up for a long time now. But I plan to release some after New Years Eve. Until then, enjoy this little treat and have fun.

"Blood was dripping down from his mouth on the ground, giving the floor a cold red colour. He couldn't understand why. Why did he hit him? What gain had he from seeing him dead, after such a long time their ways did cross now? And then it hit him. There never was a chance for him to win. Every step of the way was destined. Everything had been controlled, from the beginning on. He was expected to loose. He would loose, he knew it now. His time was over..."

Merry Christmas & happy New Year, see you soon~


P.S.: Comments, please. Thank you.

Editing time and as it is so short back to the lesson format.


Blood was dripping down from his mouth on the ground, giving the floor a cold red colour

'From' and 'on' are Prepositions. Your sentences if all but nouns and verb are removed reads like this

Blood was dripping, giving floor colour (Amer. would be color)

The point here is to mix it up like this

Blood from his mouth was dripping down on the ground - Part one, now for the second part

First I do not think you are using giving in the right context. The two meaning of give are (1) Freely transfer the possession of (something) to (someone); hand over to. and (2) Bestow (love, affection, or other emotional support) [Gotten from google with the search words - giving definition]. I would suggest using the word turning and remove colour as red is a color and is therefore unneeded word. That makes your first sentence this

Blood from his mouth was dripping down on the ground turning the floor a cold red. -


Next your sentences 'He couldn't understand why.' and 'Why did he hit him?'.

I would suggest combining them as both have a why in them and it might make more clear what the first 'why' is about.

He couldn't understand why he was hit.

The second he would be better as a person name like this 'He couldn't understand why James hit him', but as at the moment, the who is unknown, then it is better to leave that part out


What gain had he from seeing him dead, after such a long time their ways did cross now?

That is close to a run on and as written is very unclear. My first suggestion would be to change the first part to this

What was to be gained from his death.

Again if you had a name it would read better, so again I suggest you remove that part. This second part is a mess. First it is a fragment and, second is wordy. My suggest is to rephrase it like this

'after such a long time' and 'since their paths crossed'.

The now being understood as this should be in present tense and then rewrite this part like this

After such a long time, since their paths has crossed, what was to be gained from his death?


And then it hit him

Such a short and yet very important sentence. This sentences shows a change in the direction of thought. And while it might be okay as it is, reword a little, it takes on even more power. and then combine this to the next part. I suggest rewording it like this.

That when he knew


There never was a chance for him to win. Every step of the way was destined. Everything had been controlled, from the beginning on. He was expected to loose.

Yes, I know I might be crazy to tackle some may sentences, and yet we got the same idea in each, making this part extra wordy. I suggest you combine them.

First shorten your clauses - 'Never a chance to win', Every step destined', 'Everything controlled', He was expected to loose'

Next change loose to the correct lose and change destined to determined to keep the same idea ( Destined suggest fate, determined suggest controlled fate).

Now we put the pieces together

From the beginning, he never had a chance as every step was determined and everything was controlled.

We drop the 'expected to lose' part as it is repeating the 'never had a chance part'
and thus this part becomes

From the beginning, he never had a chance as every step was determined and everything was controlled.

And then adding the above part gives us this

That when he knew that from the beginning, he never had a chance as every step was determined and everything was controlled.


He would loose, he knew it now. His time was over..."

Again you are saying the same thing over and over. I would suggest first removing the ' he would lose' as again you just said that, and combining the last two parts like this

'He knew his time was over.

Now for all My suggestions together, and it becomes this:

Blood from his mouth was dripping down on the ground turning the floor a cold red. He couldn't understand why he was hit. After such a long time, since their paths has crossed, what was to be gained from his death? That when he knew that from the beginning, he never had a chance as every step was determined and everything was controlled. He knew his time was over.

[akai-kun]

Sorry for the very long hiatus, strating in three weeks, I will release more new chapters, and thsi time lots and lots of them. I have them written, so there will be no delay. Thnaks for your continuing support, the reward is coming.

Stay tuned.

[akai-kun]

CONTINUATION, FINALLY...

The fake James Black threw the black bag outside the window, leaving the bag to fall down ten floors before hitting ground, or more precisely, hitting a trash container that was conveniently parked there. Of course, it wasn't really a coincidence, it had been part of the plan from the beginning, from the point where James Black knew he would have to die. And James Black wasn't really dead. Anticipating such a move, even though his doppelganger met him at a little bit of surprise, he was wearing a bulletproof vest and as he finally came back to consciousness, it seemeed like it worked. Minutes passed without something hapenning, then, he heard a little hissing outside and the bag was cut open with a short knife. Sunlight hit his pretty alive eyes. He coughed. 'Took you long enough.' The other guy just looked at him. 'Get up, though I don't really know why the hell I am saving you. You, most of all.' Black grinned. 'Come on, my offer was too good to pass, eh?' Kaitou Kid nodded. 'Maybe. We'll see', he answered, then pointed his finger towards a nearby parked blue Sedan, offering them a ride. 'Let's go. Don't wanna spoil the fun by telling your murderer that you're alive and well.' And at last, he smiled, even though just a little. This all was far from over.

NEXT THING, SOON! SOMETHING BIG AND TERRIBLE HITS JAPAN, NEXT ISSUE: A SHOCKING ATTACK.

**********

So, some few words, I'm truly and deeply sorry for that long long wait and I'm going to make up with taht, I'm wiritng again and I'm trying to get a close on the story that will live up to the hype. I hope you all can forgive me, take this as the beginning of a long on-going update series.
And I'm always happy to hear from you, so leave your comments and feedback here, thank you.

Later,

akai-kun.  BACK FOR GOOD. (Sorry, that just had to be. )

[akai-kun]

'Everything that happens, that has ever happened or what will happen for that matter has a purpose in life. Though we might not see how it affects our daily routine, it does.'

CHAPTER 34 - Coming Soon

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So, a lot of you might have wondered the sudden story change, again. And yes, I noticed that. And I'm sorry for it. Normally, I would have had James stay dead but I realized that it would be difficult to end the story as epic as possible as to why I decided I had to make my previous story change (aka kill JB) go away and that's what I did. At least, I hope so.
You have to bare with me here, it has been about two years now that I've last published something about this story (again, I'm sorry for the wait), so I now had to figure out how to undo a lot of mistakes I made previously in wirting the plot.
Therefore, expect some minor changes around, but nothing too big, so that it would ruin everything. That will NOT happen!
I appreciate your faith in me, and your patience which deserves more than my sorry excuses and yes, I'll keep on delivering new stuff from now on more regularly. That being said, I hope to get you a new chapter within the next 48 hours.

Stay tuned 'cause this story is heating up again, NEW UPDATES COMING SOON!

See you around, guys!


// UPDATE 08/26/12 - Ok, so, if you're wondering is he going dead again? The answer is no. I just found the time to completely re-read all the previous chapters and besides the newer chapters not even resembling the old ones anymore, I noticed how I drifted a little away from my original intention. So, I'm trying to get things in the right order which means a slight delay on my side, but nothing too long. After all, it shouldn't take more than another 48 hours tops.
So, thank you for your patience and see you then.

[akai-kun]

*********************************************
SHORT RECAP FOR ALL OF YOU OUT THERE (AND MOSTLY FOR MYSELF ):

Premiere night. Everything was supposed to go smoothly, as always. But then, out of unknown reasons, Robert Sikaln, a former friend and colleque of Kaito Kuroba's father, the first Kaito Kid (phantom thief 1412), was murdered. While the police were investigating the scene, events heatened up and a bomb was detonated killing tens of police officers and innocent by-standers. Inspector Megure somehow survived but was in coma. His hospital transport was then intercepted and he was being questioned about the case. And the doctor whose family had been kidnapped was killed during the siege. Meanwhile, Conan had a near-death experience and then after rushing home to think the recent happenings over, he found Kogoro and Ran brutally murdered by Gin. He reunited with Kid and Inspector Nakamori who's now free from the drug effects of a previous incident. He knows Conan's and Kid's true identities. Gin also tried to take Nakamori down but failed ultimately.
Now, the three of them are raising against the clock to uncover the truth behind all this and figure out a way to destroy the organization once and for all while they're being threatened by the CIA and have to work together with James Black who isn't who he seemed to be either.
And unaware of it, the organization is being gunned down one by one by a killer on the loose, Daniel Basuhkiv.

The stakes have never been higher and yet, succeeding seems almost impossible. Almost...

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'Everything that happens, that has ever happened or what will happen for that matter has a purpose in life. Though we might not see how it affects our daily routine, it does.'

CHAPTER 34

Metropolitan Police Headquarters, Beika.

They had taken a lot. They had been shot at, thrown around by explosions and lost their close ones. And still, they had no idea what was going on. Neither did they know what it all had to do with them and why it all came raining down on them at this very moment. And some of them didn't even know as much as that. 'Say, Conan-kun, everything that happened seems to somehow focus around on you. And when I look around, I think I'm speaking for all of us here when I say you should really tell us what we're getting ourselves into here.' Conan looked up and sighed. He had feared this particular moment for his whole life and now that it had come true, he kinda appreciated it. Akward but releaving. And it was due. He nodded. He surely nodded often, the last time he checked. He wanted to speak but something prevented him from doing so. He simply couldn't find the right words for it, not after what happened to... Ran...
Kid who was still wearing his FBI-ish clothes stepped forward and took over, exposing himself. 'So, guys, I know what will now come will be a shock to some of you.' Sato threw a dark blink in his direction. 'Okay, or not.' Then he focused again on what was important here. 'So, you all remember Shinichi Kudo?' Everyone nodded in correspondance. 'Good. Because little Conan here is him.' Nothing. Not the slightest reaction. Not even a laugh, the situation was to serious as he would be joking around about something as big as that. 'You serious?' 'Yeah. And while we're at it. I'm Kaito. Yes, as in Kaito Kid. Now that we're all aqquainted, let's...' Before he could finish his sentence, Sato had reached for her gun and pointed at in Kaito's face. 'Hands up in the air where I can see them, Kaito Kid.' Kid frowned. 'For real now?' 'Yes, for real now.' Nakamori helped him out of his misery. 'Take the gun down, Sato. He's a friend.' She stopped but didn't let go of the gun. 'Why would you say that? You of all people, Nakamori-keibu.' 'Take your gun down. Believe me, we had a rough day. We can't use another stand-off now.' 'Another?' 'Let him explain.' She nodded and put the gun back into its holster. And Kid started to explain everything from the beginning...

****

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MORE COMING SOON!
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