Dear Off Topic, if I never post again I have been murdered b
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Posts: 4200
Dear Off Topic, if I never post again I have been murdered b
Just now, I saw a little ant-like insect crawling on my monitor, maybe .5-1cm long. Me, wanting to assert my superiority over this puny insect, took a tissue and attempted to crush it.
But this insect would have none of it. Oh, no. For you see, he was uncrushable. I would say he was ten times stronger than the strongest insect I have fought against, but that would be an understatement. Because this insect's diamond-hard carapace was uncrushable to my grasp, he may as well have been infinitely stronger than all my previous adversaries.
So here I was, grasping this tissue which conceals some bug of unfathomable strength, trying to crush it with all my might. But what was it? What was it that could best Akonyl, scourge of the six-legged? So I slowly unwrap it and look at it.
Inside was a bee. Well, technically it wasn't a bee. It was actually a yellow-jacket wasp. Apparently when they're small, they're really hard to kill. Soon after opening the tissue, it started moving again, so I bound it in my grasp again and flushed it into the abyss. In a thousand years, a better man than me may vanquish the foul demon when it escapes from its watery prison.
But here's the part I don't get. Why is there a wasp in my bedroom? It didn't seem like it was very good at the whole flying thing yet, and my window is closed. So, either it had underwent a tremendous odyssey when I pulled the Charybdis move on it, or somewhere I have bees living in my bedroom.
...bees living in my bedroom.
So yeah if I stop posting I've probably met a horrendously painful death.
But this insect would have none of it. Oh, no. For you see, he was uncrushable. I would say he was ten times stronger than the strongest insect I have fought against, but that would be an understatement. Because this insect's diamond-hard carapace was uncrushable to my grasp, he may as well have been infinitely stronger than all my previous adversaries.
So here I was, grasping this tissue which conceals some bug of unfathomable strength, trying to crush it with all my might. But what was it? What was it that could best Akonyl, scourge of the six-legged? So I slowly unwrap it and look at it.
Inside was a bee. Well, technically it wasn't a bee. It was actually a yellow-jacket wasp. Apparently when they're small, they're really hard to kill. Soon after opening the tissue, it started moving again, so I bound it in my grasp again and flushed it into the abyss. In a thousand years, a better man than me may vanquish the foul demon when it escapes from its watery prison.
But here's the part I don't get. Why is there a wasp in my bedroom? It didn't seem like it was very good at the whole flying thing yet, and my window is closed. So, either it had underwent a tremendous odyssey when I pulled the Charybdis move on it, or somewhere I have bees living in my bedroom.
...bees living in my bedroom.
So yeah if I stop posting I've probably met a horrendously painful death.
- Grawwbear
Posts: 127
Re: Dear Off Topic, if I never post again I have been murder
Well... this bear knew you well, Trollshama.Akonyl wrote: So yeah if I stop posting I've probably met a horrendously painful death.
3DS FC: 1177 7926 3041
- PT
- Community Mad Scientist
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Posts: 1800
Re: Dear Off Topic, if I never post again I have been murder
Somebody's feeling a wee bit dramatic today. 

pofa wrote: I have never done a single thing wrong in mafia, never one lie or act of violence
- Commi-Ninja
Posts: 1583
Re: Dear Off Topic, if I never post again I have been murder
Diamond-hard carapace, eh? Sounds pretty tough. I hope it doesn't escape from its watery prison prematurely and attack you again.
3DS FC: 4699-5851-2068
I might wake up early and go running. I also might wake up and win the lottery. The odds are about the same.
I might wake up early and go running. I also might wake up and win the lottery. The odds are about the same.
- pofa
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Re: Dear Off Topic, if I never post again I have been murder
You have Charybdis in your toilet? 




Superman = Captain America > Aquaman = Hal Jordan > Wonder Woman > Barry Allen > Thor > Martian Manhunter > The Hulk > Wasp > Hawkeye > [power gap] > Iron Man = Batman > [power gap] > Hank Pym
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Re: Dear Off Topic, if I never post again I have been murder
Let me ask you a few questions:PhoenixTears wrote: Somebody's feeling a wee bit dramatic today.![]()
1) Do you have bees living in your bedroom?
2) Do you have bees living in your bedroom?
You would be dramatic too if it could be your last day on Earth.
true, I shouldn't underestimate this opponent.Commi-Ninja wrote: Diamond-hard carapace, eh? Sounds pretty tough. I hope it doesn't escape from its watery prison prematurely and attack you again.
It makes the bathroom a very exciting place.pofa wrote: You have Charybdis in your toilet?![]()
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Posts: 3270
Re: Dear Off Topic, if I never post again I have been murder
Let me ask you a few questions, Akonyl:
1) Do you have bees living in your bedroom?
2) Do you have bees living in your bedroom?
The world may never know!
1) Do you have bees living in your bedroom?
2) Do you have bees living in your bedroom?
The world may never know!
Your opinion is always requested in Abs.' Random Polls of Whenever
- Commi-Ninja
Posts: 1583
Re: Dear Off Topic, if I never post again I have been murder
Well, apparently he does, otherwise he wouldn't be so concerned for his personal safety.Abs. wrote: Let me ask you a few questions, Akonyl:
1) Do you have bees living in your bedroom?
2) Do you have bees living in your bedroom?
The world may never know!
3DS FC: 4699-5851-2068
I might wake up early and go running. I also might wake up and win the lottery. The odds are about the same.
I might wake up early and go running. I also might wake up and win the lottery. The odds are about the same.
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- DCTP Staff Hero
Posts: 3270
Re: Dear Off Topic, if I never post again I have been murder
If he knows that he does, and he's concerned for his personal safety, I'm sure there's a couple of phone numbers he can call to ameliorate his concern.
But he doesn't know.
Therein lies the problem.
But he doesn't know.
Therein lies the problem.
Your opinion is always requested in Abs.' Random Polls of Whenever
- Commi-Ninja
Posts: 1583
Re: Dear Off Topic, if I never post again I have been murder
Perhaps. Or, maybe, just maybe.... You put a bee in his bedroom to freak him out. 

3DS FC: 4699-5851-2068
I might wake up early and go running. I also might wake up and win the lottery. The odds are about the same.
I might wake up early and go running. I also might wake up and win the lottery. The odds are about the same.
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- Community Hero
Posts: 4200
Re: Dear Off Topic, if I never post again I have been murder
Then again, if they're in here the world may never know for sure, because they would have silenced me. It would be up to the DCTP forums to avenge me!Commi-Ninja wrote:Well, apparently he does, otherwise he wouldn't be so concerned for his personal safety.Abs. wrote: Let me ask you a few questions, Akonyl:
1) Do you have bees living in your bedroom?
2) Do you have bees living in your bedroom?
The world may never know!
I do not question Abs's ability for making horrors.Commi-Ninja wrote: Perhaps. Or, maybe, just maybe.... You put a bee in his bedroom to freak him out.![]()
- xpon
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Re: Dear Off Topic, if I never post again I have been murder
i think because people always kill you in night 1 in mafia games made your stress level high....
so please... live longer next time!
so please... live longer next time!
- Commi-Ninja
Posts: 1583
Re: Dear Off Topic, if I never post again I have been murder
Unless you're BO. Then we need to lynch you early on....xpon wrote: i think because people always kill you in night 1 in mafia games made your stress level high....
so please... live longer next time!

3DS FC: 4699-5851-2068
I might wake up early and go running. I also might wake up and win the lottery. The odds are about the same.
I might wake up early and go running. I also might wake up and win the lottery. The odds are about the same.
- PT
- Community Mad Scientist
- to cammel's bav we go!
Posts: 1800
Re: Dear Off Topic, if I never post again I have been murder
Nope, can't say that I do. But unless you're highly allergic to bees, then it's probably not your last day on Earth.Akonyl wrote:Let me ask you a few questions:PhoenixTears wrote: Somebody's feeling a wee bit dramatic today.![]()
1) Do you have bees living in your bedroom?
2) Do you have bees living in your bedroom?
You would be dramatic too if it could be your last day on Earth.
Which just means you're being dramatic for the sake of being dramatic. So: Akonyl is a Drama Queen.
pofa wrote: I have never done a single thing wrong in mafia, never one lie or act of violence
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Posts: 4200
Re: Dear Off Topic, if I never post again I have been murder
I have so far still proven to be lynch-proof.Commi-Ninja wrote:Unless you're BO. Then we need to lynch you early on....xpon wrote: i think because people always kill you in night 1 in mafia games made your stress level high....
so please... live longer next time!![]()
I'm not highly allergic no, but a number of bees could still inflict a slight case of death if in large enough quantity.PhoenixTears wrote:Nope, can't say that I do. But unless you're highly allergic to bees, then it's probably not your last day on Earth.Akonyl wrote:Let me ask you a few questions:PhoenixTears wrote: Somebody's feeling a wee bit dramatic today.![]()
1) Do you have bees living in your bedroom?
2) Do you have bees living in your bedroom?
You would be dramatic too if it could be your last day on Earth.
Which just means you're being dramatic for the sake of being dramatic. So: Akonyl is a Drama Queen.