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Once upon a never-ending year, there was an onigiri named Kleene. (closeup of nametag on onigiri "Kleene")

But Kleene was not like other onigiris. Kleene was moldy, but that wasn't a bad thing. (zoom out to show happy moldy Kleene)

For one thing, moldy onigiris don't get eaten. (other onigiri getting eaten RIP, Kleene is safe, maybe not even realizing what is happen, reading DC manga)

Kleene also had friends who were moldy, just like her! (Kleene with moldy Ako and moldy Peets, and a moldy "insert yourself here" cutout)

One day, Kleene and her friends decided to become pirates. (Captain Kleene and friends, happily donning eyepatches and brandishing wooden swords)

They found a ship and claimed it as their own. (is Shitty Ship)

After setting sail, they realized they didn't have a destination in mind. (Kleene and crew on the deck facing each other, with ???s above their heads, shrugging)

At that exact moment, a balloon drifted down to them and attached to it was a treasure map! (purple balloon in the distance with treasure map attached, coming closer)

They thanked the errant balloon by tying it onto the gunwhale, and then they were off! (X_X pofa tied to a gun-toting whale, speed lines)

On their journey, they encountered storms, (raiden throwing lightning bolts)

whales (more gun-toting whales)

scorching rays (akobo lasers)

and random kitten attacks (huh, it's rai again)

until they finally reached their destination... (treasure map with big red X and "You Are Here" pointing to it)

an island called Shitty Island. (is an island shaped like poop emoji)

Upon landing, they immediately set off in a random direction (all running into the vegetation, wielding wooden swords)

where they came across various (everyone in shock, watching Araide and Vermouth (as Araide) make out)

amorous (everyone blank face, coming across Vernon Roche x Iorveth undressing each other)

couplings romantic arrangements. (everyone sharing popcorn, looking on as Loki, Bucky, and Natasha flirt with each other in super awkward fashion)

Finally, they found a clearing, and in the middle of the clearing, there was a complete setup for 4 people to play FFXIV together (big FFXIV banner, huge screens, Bluetooth headsets, super cushy chairs, etc.)

"Surely, this is the treasure!" they all exclaimed, as they ran towards the middle of the clearing. (just the words "IT'S A TRAP!" written in huge letters across the page)

They found themselves tied up by the natives (the natives look like loaves of bread with stick-figure arms and legs, and they keep saying, "Sorry about this")

And found out they were going to be sacrificed to appease the angry island deity (the island, with a dotted line showing their path from the clearing to the top of the island, and a big arrow pointing to the top, labeled "Angry Deity's Home")

They fell into the hole (everyone falling with speed lines and X_X faces)

and landed on... something soft? and white? and green? (everyone sitting up, unhurt, with above their heads)

"My word... You lot were ALREADY moldy, aren't you? What luck! You're not affected!" (giant mold with a royal crown and ^_^ face)

"I tried to cushion the fall for my visitors, but the others all unfortunately turned into mold zombies the minute they touched bottom." (gesturing to about 100 completely-moldified bread natives with X_X face)

"Can you help me?" she asked. "If only all these stupid yellow rocks weren't in the way, then the vents wouldn't be blocked, and everyone could slowly float down when they visited me, and leave whenever they wished!" (mold diety lifts a thick section of mold to reveal SO MANY GOLD COINS underneath)

So they thought (everyone huddled, brainstorming)

and they thought (everyone distracted, rushing to send in their mafia actions/votes via mobile before phase change)

and they thought, when suddenly Kleene had an idea! (lightbulb above a confident Kleene)

"Our friend, the balloon!" she exclaimed triumphantly. (recalling the balloon bringing the map)

They sent word to the gunwhale to bring pofa to the island. (pofa is still X_X tied to the gun-toting whale, speed lines)

"You're in luck, pofa said. "For I am the god of my people. We can carry these rocks out in two, three days, tops." (happy, confident pofa, with thought bubble of her legions of balloon people)

"What's more, I know of many peoples who have been searching for you, Mold Deity, in order to pay their respects, so once we clear out enough of the rocks to get the vents working again, we can bring them here!" (collage of pofa meeting various fungi in various locales, all inquiring about the Mold Deity)

And so it went. Meanwhile, Ako and Peets set about helping the mold zombies clear off most of the mold (Ako directing Akobo's lasers, Peets using mad science... in the background, balloon people are clearing away the gold coins)

and Kleene and the Mold Deity helped the rest of the island natives get just moldy enough so that they could live long and happy lives. (natives line up in front of Kleene and MD to apply mold to the region(s) of their choice)

Finally back home, Kleene and her friends used the yellow rocks to set up a real FFXIV ultimate gaming center, and lived moldily ever after. (wide, angled, cutout shot of the gaming center, to reveal SO MANY rooms with Kleene, Peets, Ako, tens of moldy cutouts, moldy pofa, moldy gunwhale, kittens, bread people, and the Mold Diety all playing FFXIV together and having fun... on display at the entrance of the center is a trophy, saying "BEST PIRATES EVER")

The Moldy End!