DCTP Shorts: A Collection of Timeless Random Stories

[Edogawa4869]

As usual, great stories!

[Akonyl]

In Princess Hours, you totally call xcommando a her (her skull) and then call commi a guy at one point. Tsk tsk.

But yes, I approve also.

[bluekaitou1412]

Damn English language XD

Fixed.

[Eve]

Damn English language XD

Fixed.

XD great stories....but what's with me and driving lol

THANK YOU SO MUCH, I DO WANNA POUR ALL MY ANGER AND SADNESS ONTO THE ROAD MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Commi-Ninja]

Hehehe I like how Parkur wants to arrest me for murder.  But I'm nowhere to be found.

[PT]

They're still awesome, bluek!

".. i .. curs ..u Abs preapre 2 .. dead"

LOL x 1000.

[Akonyl]

They're still awesome, bluek!

".. i .. curs ..u Abs preapre 2 .. dead"

LOL x 1000.

I didn't even comment on this, but yeah I thought that was awesome.

[Kleene Onigiri]

Great ones!

Good thing that one line was deleted :x

[Yurikochan]

Volume Three

Spoiler: Boo-boos

Part One

In the deepest part of Graww forest there lived a Grawwbear named Rohoph. One thing anyone could notice about this certain Grawwbear-- other than hating forks-- was she loved to eat bamboos as dessert.

There came a time when an onion together with a bookworm rolled in her den unannounced. Being friendly in nature, she greeted her uninvited visitors warmly.

"Hi! I'm Rohoph, the one and only Grawwbear. Nice to meet you two!"

The appearance of the Grawwbear (again) did not help, though, as nomemory the onion was clearly scared. mangaluva the bookworm, on the other hand, intently watched the beast, her curiosity peaking on higher levels.

"Hi... Uh... I'm nomemory..." said the quivering onion. "You don't happen to eat onions, do you?"

"No. But I like bamboo" was her grawwly answer. "I wouldn't even know what onions taste like."

"I heard they taste a lot like bamboo."  mangaluva, in a nonchalant manner, cut in.

"The hell--"

And the onion was never seen again. (Except in another story)

Moral Lesson: Onions taste like bamboo. That much is obvious.


Part Two

An excerpt from Abs.: The Abominable Autobiography

It was about 3 in the morning. It just so happened that I was alone inside my dark room when that cursed event that I am going to recount took place.

While I was trying to get some sleep, I heard someone entering my bathroom. The lights flickered inside. The creak of the door sent shivers down my spine.

For some unknown reason, I felt like I must check it out. I mustered all my courage, tip-toed towards the bathroom and took a peek.

I would never, ever forget what I saw.

The person whom I murdered last Tuesday and successfully put the blame on Jd Dash, had took the pleasure to haunt me.

I didn't know then if I must feel frightened or annoyed. It was xpon. There was something written in blood on my mirror.

".. i .. curs ..u Abs preapre 2 .. dead"

"AAAAAHHHH!!! DAMN YOU XPON, DAMN YOU!"

Moral Lesson: I told ya.


Part Three

5 years after the much celebrated wedding of Akonyl and Kleene, the couple had settled in their lovely home in front of the JDC West HQ together with their daughter, Striprice.

Their daughter greatly resembles Abs.. (line deleted)

"Let's go see Daddy in the backyard-- he's gardening with lots of pretty flowers!" Kleene, with her daughter in tow, came out of their checkered blue house and made her way to their garden, where Akonyl had spent his life studying the life of bees and how they pollinate flowers. ",Kay." was the short answer of Striprice, evidently uninterested.

They were not far from where her husband is when they heard someone yell.

"#$%*@#$?!! IT KILLED ANOTHER PLANT! D**N PESTS! I JUST PUT THIS YESTERDAY, AND IT'S DEAD! I HATE THESE M****RF****ING BEES!"

Kleene and her daughter went back to the house.

Moral Lesson: snickersnicker


Part Four

"Social Experiment for Couples: If he/she is really honest or lying just to shut you up."

H picked up that book when he was in the library. It caught his attention, and in such a good time. He was thinking by then that his lover, L- was a freaking liar.

"Even if there's nothing new about you, ask!" was the first suggestion. Jd- took the liberty on trying it out on him.

"Can't you notice something new about me, today?" asked Jd- when he met L- on the way to the market.

L-'s brain activity became super intense upon hearing Jd-s question. "H..h..huh? Uhhh..." Huge drops of sweat trickled on his forehead while he squinted and stared at JD-, desperately trying to find out the thing he was talking about. He tried in vain for there was really nothing new. "Uh... yeah... I think there is something... I noticed it earlier... yes, yes..." He nervously tried to sneak his way out.

Liar.

"Uhhh... did you have a haircut? Or... is there something different in your eyes? You plucked out your nosehairs, did you?"

Sucker. You poor soul.

"WHAT IS IT?! WHAT IS IT?! YOUR AURA CHANGED? CELL MUTATION? DNA WHATEVER? WHAAAAAAAT?! DAMN IT! TELL ME!!!!!!"

"There's really nothing." Jd- walked away laughing.

Moral Lesson: Too lazy to think of one.


Part Five

"Are you sure about this?"

The trio of acquaintances was inside a car. The two, Beastly and Elika, was on the backseat, while Eve, whom they met eating noodles alone on the sidewalk looking dejected, was on the driver's seat.

"You're the only one who knows how to drive." said Elika. Beastly nodded in agreement. "I don't know how. She don't know how. So, let's go! You drive!"

"Hey, you're the ones who dragged me into this! You said you're going to treat me! I'm the one who's depressed here! Geez. Oh okay. What can I do?" She started the car's engine, and to the surprise of her passengers "HWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! GET READY, FOOLS! DID YOU HEAR THE ENGINE? I'M GOING TO POUR ALL MY ANGER ON THE ROAD!!! MY SADNESS WILL KILL! ANYONE WHO STANDS IN MY WAY WILL FEEL MY WRATH! WAHAHAAH!" she spouted those words with an evil look on her face.

Silence.

"Teehee. Just kidding."

"Goddamn it Eve, I think my heart stopped." Elika said, while gasping for air.

"I think I peed my pants."

The two looked at Beastly with disgust.

Moral Lesson: le gasp

Spoiler: Princess Hours

08/27/10

We walked slowly up the track, the light of my torch cutting through the darkness of the night. Occasionally I let the torch drop down to the pathway, where my eyes searched the ground.

"What did bluekaitou actually tell you about this place?"

"Oh, just that he  would often come up here. He'd walk up from the JDC HQ and sit on the bench and think, sometimes write in his notebook."

"Really?"

At that moment, just as the dark outline of the forest shrine came into view, I switched off the torch, pretending to drop it on the ground.

"Sorry" I said, "It slipped out of my hands."

"Don't worry" he said, "Can you see it?"

"Yes."

I bent down to the earth where I had already spotted a rock, a large piece of flint. I clasped it in my hand, feeling its sharp edges bite into my skin. I quickly stood up and raised my arm above me.

"What--" But he didn't have a chance to finish his sentence.

I brought the heavy rock down hard on xcommando's head, immediately stunning him. There was a crack and a faint cry, and I followed through with two more blows. He tried to stretch his arm out into the dark night, swayed from side to side for a moment and then slumped to the ground. The stone in my hand felt wet and sticky as I continued to pummel his skull.

Finally, I stabbed a katana in his stomach.

...

Yuriko jumped from her chair, nearly toppling her teacup as two uniformed police officers charged into the study room.

"Parkur, junior police superintendent. Are you Commi Ninja?" The younger officer advanced toward her desk and waved a search warrant in her face.

"No. Yurikochan" she said, ignoring the search warrant. "What's this all about?"

"Do you know where Commi Ninja is?"

"Why do you want to know?" Yuriko met the cop eye to eye.

"When did you last see her?"

Yuriko hesitated a second, trying to gather her thoughts.

"Uh, several days, I guess. Monday or Tuesday of last week... I can't really remember. I'm just here in her study room to tidy things up, at the request of her sister. Look, why don't you tell me what this is all about?"

"Murder." The second cop finally opened his mouth. "xcommando was found murdered at the middle of the stone path, with a ninja katana stuck on his belly. We need to ascertain if that katana is Commi's. as you know, she is the only ninja known in these parts."

Officer Parkur had already begun riffling through Commi's study desk drawers. He yanked up the framed picture of Phoenix and showed it to his partner, who nodded in recognition.

"Do you know who she is?" The second cop demanded.

"Yeah, that's her sister." Yuriko gave them Phoenix's name and number. "Listen, I've got to tell you, Commi would never kill xcommando." She sank back down into her chair.

"Lady" Officer Parkur began, condescension dripping from his tongue, "we aren't accusing her of murdering anyone. We just want to talk to her, okay? Make sure she's not a victim of foul play herself. So if you know where she is, it would be in her best interests, and yours, to share that with us."

"All I know is she went to New York..." Yuriko gave up. Officer Parkur looked like he was champing to earn his stripes. Or to put Commi in some.

For the better part of an hour, they tore through Commi's desk, files, bookshelves, even the testpapers in the top drawer. When they were done they handed Yuriko a card with a case number and their contact information. Parkur left Yuriko with the "strong" suggestion that she call them immediately if she heard from Commi.

She waited until she was sure they'd started down the stairs before she closed the door and went for her diary, into which she wrote two hideous words:

"Plan successful."

Moral Lesson: Always keep a diary.

Spoiler: Author's Notes

I'll probably think of another soon.

I love these, they are all amazing, but poor Nomemory. And loved my story about killing Xcom, I guess it's revenge. O:-)

[Akonyl]

Great ones!

Good thing that one line was deleted :x

first brock, now abs, it seems everyone thinks you're having an affair D:

[Kleene Onigiri]

Great ones!

Good thing that one line was deleted :x

first brock, now abs, it seems everyone thinks you're having an affair D:

Seems so ;p We even have a daughter now and are married XD

[Akonyl]

Great ones!

Good thing that one line was deleted :x

first brock, now abs, it seems everyone thinks you're having an affair D:

Seems so ;p We even have a daughter now and are married XD

I notice you didn't deny the allegations :O

[nomemory]

Great ones!

Good thing that one line was deleted :x

first brock, now abs, it seems everyone thinks you're having an affair D:

Seems so ;p We even have a daughter now and are married XD

I notice you didn't deny the allegations :O

I told you so.

[Akonyl]

Great ones!

Good thing that one line was deleted :x

first brock, now abs, it seems everyone thinks you're having an affair D:

Seems so ;p We even have a daughter now and are married XD

I notice you didn't deny the allegations :O

I told you so.

now now, she hasn't been proven guilty yet.

[nomemory]

now now, she hasn't been proven guilty yet.

The picture I have says otherwise.