DCTP Shorts: A Collection of Timeless Random Stories

[sonoci]

My first appearance

Spoiler:

...results in my death

Sweet, I love to make an entrance \o/

[bluekaitou1412]

Maybe I'll kill you second in my next installment

[sonoci]

Maybe I'll kill you second in my next installment

Spoiler:

You make it sound like you didn't in this one :I

[Eve]

I've written one before, you know :V

I have no opinion on it

Eve you jerk D:

*coughs*....*coughs*

@ BK story: hmmm..... not enough blood *coughs*.... I mean.... w/ so many deaths caused by Parkur's inability to determine the killer, he should be killed too, no? XD lol

[Kleene Onigiri]

Noooo! Akonyl! D: ;_;

[lyndsi]

HAHA
You stabbed me (I felt like I was watching Harpers Island!!!)
But seriously you STABBED me!
*sighs for not being prepared*

[bluekaitou1412]

*cough* A little bit of announcements, hear

*revives thread*

Spoiler:

Striprice, daughter of Kleene and Akonyl, was especially fond of his Uncle Blue. Everytime he paid a visit to their house at Riceball Plains she would be the first to greet him, and Blue, being a young man who secretly couldn't stand children but tolerated them anyway, would carry her and tell her stories about his (obviously fake) exploits and discoveries.

Not that Striprice wasn't aware of this, for she was a smart child. Nevertheless, she would tolerate the lies, for she found it interesting and an effective way to kill boredom.

"Uncle Blue please tell me another story!" Striprice would cling. Of course, this tactic would make Blue oblige, and so would start to recount events from his imagination. Occasionally however, he would tell true stories straight from his memories. And this is where our story begins.

Spoiler:

As Told By Striprice Herself

Uncle Blue was a great story-teller (not at all! ). He would spend the whole day telling me about these tales of nonsensical idiocy of people and adventures of fictional characters like this girl called hopelessidiot the owner of the weirdest name, Phoenix and how she could revive herself over and over, Jd- and his red pandas, Commi the ninja or Parkur who was especially obssessed with unicorns. I would secretly laugh at him for it. They were hardly believable but engrossing fairy tales, added to the fact that the names were vaguely familiar. (I would find out later that they were my parents' colleagues and they were in fact, real people. A lot of them attended my father's funeral.)

Little did I know that I would later help him compile these stories into a book right before his untimely death at age 18, but that's another story.

Anyway, among these tales that he would share, there was one specific recount which caught my interest when I was a mere child. Now, I'm just going to mention my childhood best friend whom I rarely see now but is relevant to the following story. Koihime was her name. I couldn't remember what her parents looked like back then, but I was young and couldn't care less. I detested a lot of adults and they were only a few I looked up to (my mother, among others). Koihime's parents were named Conia and Yuriko.

Imagine my surprise, when I found out that the main characters from Uncle Blue's story are the same persons who brought my best friend to this world.

I will now start the re-telling. I hope it'll be as accurate as Uncle Blue would've wanted it to be.


Conia

There was once a time, far from where we are now, when there existed two different Conias. Yes, two very different Conias. Now hear, this isn't fiction but a fact that was researched over and over by renowned researchers (obviously, can't have mathematicians research stuff, they're more cut for math :V) for the past millenia, and was the cause for the debate until the year 2009 when it was proven, finally, as true.

The first Conia would jump from a place to another, was very well-trained in the ninja arts, had good senses, and would always carry a portable bush in his pocket. He would collect data day and night non-stop, ransack people's houses and steal incriminating blackmail material. The other Conia on the other hand, was more, should I say, indifferent to information. He would sit and chat with his friends, hang around houses, and party all day long. He was observant, but he didn't show it, and he didn't care. These two was never in the same place at the same time. However, events would conspire and would force themselves to meet and eventually, dive into a battle of wits.

So, now we have a stalker and a slacker.


Yuriko

They say a woman is always behind a man's success, but can also cause his downfall. While I don't believe it entirely, my dad (Akonyl) was fairly successful with his business and I would like to think that my mom (Kleene), with her never-ending moral support, propelled him to such a state. She also might be the cause of my dad's death. (May the two of them rest in peace.) Not that I believe rumours, but I heard I wasn't really my dad's little princess. Who knows?

Back to the story. (Also for the sake of convenience I'm going to call stalker Conia "Conia1" and slacker Conia "Conia2")

At this point Conia1 was sneaking around a pink house, not to gather blackmail material, but mainly to stalk. He was deeply infatuated with a neighbor of his, a sweet girl named Yuriko. Only she didn't seem to notice him hanging around her house. Not that I blame her, normally you wouldn't see Conia1 unless you look closely at his hiding place, in this case, a bush on the rightmost part of Yuriko's yard. Clearly a mistake on his part for he could've just waltzed in and said hi. Yuriko, kind-hearted that she was, would've let him in and offered cookies.

After a while, Yuriko went outside to go to the market. Persistent Conia1 followed, concealed behind his mobile bush. He was most thankful for the move because he was getting cramps for sitting out on the yard for days. And so, down the road sweet innocent Yuriko walked happily oblivious to the moving green shrubbery behind her...

That was, until Conia2 showed up.


Chance

This part of the story was the hardest to remember; everytime I try to recall details I draw a blank. That said, I apologize for making this a short one. On with it.

Conia2 was walking the same path as our heroine, Yuriko, so they were bound to meet one way or the other. As fate would have it, Conia2 fell in love at first sight to our female protagonist; though, he noticed the moving bush behind the unsuspecting girl first before the "beauty" just a few meters away.

Hey, what's that behind you?

The sight of the creepy bush moving by itself would scare anyone not familiar with the rules of stalking (Yuriko, later on, would learn this from his husband) and so, not unexpectedly, she jumped out of the way, ran almost crying towards the nearest person she could find comfort and hugged him tight, almost choking him in the process.

This person was Conia2.

Conia1, from behind the shrub, shouted, voice seething with anger. He couldn't, he shouldn't, and he wouldn't allow anyone to touch his dearest (who doesn't even know he existed until that very day).

HOW DARE YOU!!!!!1111

Not only did he ignore the fact that he was looking at the exact carbon copy of him, but Conia1 also grabbed the frightened Yuriko away from Conia2, threw her inside a sack, and dashed. Conia2 was stunned for a moment. How could a clone of him be so evil, he thought. He normally wouldn't bother with kidnappings, but he already took a liking to Yuriko, and was determined to save her from the hands of the villain.

He declared Conia1 as his archrival.


To Be Continued in Challenge (when I feel like it)

I finally feel like continuing this story so hype for that

aaaand

this story was supposed to be my gift to Kei on her birthday last [insert date here] and I think it wasn't posted yet (hopefully) so

Spoiler:

(notice that I still call her Fuu in this story)

and also

I'll post this one that I wrote a long time ago during Conia's Stalker Round so I can find it easily next time

Spoiler:

[Abs.]

Sounds familiar

[Conia]

Sounds familiar

^

And my gender is wrong

[Akonyl]

when you quoted that striprice story I thought "Uncle Blue" was supposed to be Renaldo for a bit until I realized it was you :x

[KangarooGirl]

when you quoted that striprice story I thought "Uncle Blue" was supposed to be Renaldo for a bit until I realized it was you :x

XD

@Kai: haha you finally posted it. though you can tell it was written a long time ago :x

[Yurikochan]

\o/ \o/ \o/ *loves Ao-nii's stories*

[bluekaitou1412]

And my gender is wrong

Yeah that umm... it was intentional :x

[mangaluva]

How the One Being of Parnociluva came to be.

There was a strange kingdom called DCTP while strange things happened. In the hills, there was a man named Parkur who trained Pokémon and rode ponies all day on his ranch. He spent so much time doing this that he didn’t know what TV and movies were.

In a cottage with tiled walls scribbled Sonoci. She divided all of the tiles into strips of four and thus covered her house with 4komas. These 4komas were deeply powerful because she drew them with her magic pen. Around them, characters and headcanon were warped to her strange, twisted whims. DCTP citizens came from miles around to worship the power of the 4komas.

And in a house entirely built out of books and DVDs sat Mangaluva, the writer with eight hands, who chatted on Skype and wrote two fanfics at a time. She was also mixing up evil spells to turn all of the gorgeous male characters gay and love potions to make them make out all the time.

Sometimes, however, Mangaluva’s collection of plunnies would have a huff and wouldn’t produce any ideas at all. She would poke them with sticks and throw them carrots and other fanfics, but they wouldn’t do a thing. So, because she loved Pokémon, she went to see the fabulous menagerie at Parkur’s ranch. She was afraid of the ponies, but even ponies could not stop her from going to see the Pokémon.

Meanwhile, Sonoci’s worshippers were getting too loud for her magic pen to hear her magic spells, so she also decided to sneak out. She drew a picture of Haibara looking awesome and put it on a stand outside, and while her worshippers were distracted by drooling over that, she snuck out. She decided to go see Parkur’s wonderful Pony ‘n’ Pokémon ranch.

Now, Parkur was not used to having humans around because he didn’t like them very much. However, Sonoci’s magical powers were such that all loved her, and so he didn’t mind her coming to his ranch and playing with his Pokémon. Mangaluva liked playing with the Pokémon too, but she hated his ponies and he hated her TV, so they thought they would never be friends. When some wild Twilight fans passed by, however, they found themselves in a double battle against truly terrible fiction, and the flames of battle and burning Twitards forged them into friends.

It was Sonoci who heard it first; between drawing, she would hear Parkur’s voice in her head. They would have whole conversations in their brains. Soon she was drawing 4komas all over Parkur’s ranch. One was even about ponies.

Then Mangaluva heard their voices in her head while she was fighting with her plunnies. Fleeing her reluctant plunnies, she went to Parkur’s ranch to write and play with Pokémon and strangle people who liked Justin Beiber, sometimes all at once.

Soon, all of DCTP was talking about how the three were always together at the ranch, and how fanfic and drawings and ponies were flowing out in a continuous stream of rainbows and awesome. They made the world a better place, but nobody ever saw them until Conia, on a routine stalking, snuck into the ranch and saw a terrible, horrible thing.

They had merged together into a huge ball of writing and drawing and trolling. They could never be separated again, but they didn’t mind, because they made each other more awesome. Even Parkur.

And then it started happening. Whenever the Mangaluva mouth started talking about Sherlock or Doctor Who, there was an echo to her voice…

TO BE CONTINUED, MAYBE PROBABLY NOT BUT YOU NEVER CAN TELL

[Memesu]

\o/
Awesome