DCTP Shorts: A Collection of Timeless Random Stories

[phreak_91]

lol.  These are great! nice work!

[bluekaitou1412]

Woo! At least I was killed by a worthy opponent, hopefully I will be able to be in more stories. ^^

But you were killed already D: /jk Sure!

[Yurikochan]

Woo! At least I was killed by a worthy opponent, hopefully I will be able to be in more stories. ^^

But you were killed already D: /jk Sure!

YOU JUST WANTED TO KILL ME!   My niisan hates me  

[bluekaitou1412]

@nomemory TEASETS=EVIL
@Yuriko No, I don't hate you... Actually I'm writing a YURIKO story right now!

[Yurikochan]

@nomemory TEASETS=EVIL
@Yuriko No, I don't hate you... Actually I'm writing a YURIKO story right now!

I was just teasing you anyways But soooo excited.

[nomemory]

@nomemory TEASETS=EVIL

Careful there, or you might get an enemy for life.

[Akemi~chan]

i'm not in one?

[ccppfan]

Daww Blue~ Thanks for including me! I lol'd. XDD Intelligent cat, my foot. You're a genius!

[xpon]

Daww Blue~ Thanks for including me! I lol'd. XDD Intelligent cat, my foot. You're a genius!

but i just killed your master!!
*evil laugh*

[ccppfan]

but i just killed your master!!
*evil laugh*

D:< I KNOW, YOU PERVERTED DAWG. *sharpens claws*

[bluekaitou1412]

The promised stories.


Volume Two

Spoiler: Post Humous

Part One

"So Mr. Dash, what did you feel when I surpassed your post count?" bluekaitou1412 asked.

Both person in front of him turned their heads to the speaker and simultaneously responded in the same manner: "You talking to me?"

The phantom hit the fake with a stick and walked away. Jd Dash smirked.

Moral Lesson: Plagiarism is bad.


Part Two

Yurikochan was bored. She had not been sent into a mission. She had not met her enemies. She had not been visited by his Ao-niisan. She had tried to find truth and justice, but to no avail. She had no one to talk to. She was lynched in Mafia.

She was desperate.

In an effort to waste time, she released her Spiritomb nicknamed Gin from its Cherish Ball and tried to talk to it.

"You know, Gin, I was just thinking..."

"Oh, about your pitiful existence?" Her Spiritomb cut her short. "And how, with your limited mental abilities, only misery and despair await you for all eternity, and there's nothing, absolutely nothing you can do about it?

"What?! I was just thinking I'D JUST GO TO AN ELEVATOR AND PRETEND TO BE NAUSEOUS!"

The Spiritomb sighed and returned to its ball. "I wish I have a different owner..."

Moral Lesson: Keep a Mismagius in your party instead of a Spiritomb.


Part Three

Outside the gloomy hallway of her school one windy day, Commi-Ninja, finally not just a cameo character, was at a loss. She did not attend her class last meeting. That day was the beginning of their exam week.

Luckily, Phoenix passed by her.

"Hey, what was our lesson yesterday?" she asked, her voice sounded rather distraught.

Phoenix answered "Um... I think it was the Probability Theory." with a hint of annoyance.

"The Probability Theory?"

"Probably. Coz that's what I said. Duh."

''B,,but is it even probable?" sensing difficulty in the subject, Commi began to have doubts whether Phoenix is lying or not.

"Theoretically."

"So theoretically, the lesson yesterday was the Probability Theory?"

"Well, if you could be probabilistic, probably."

Kaia, appearing out of nowhere, hit the mad scientist with a book. "Is there even such a word?"

"Probably." The words automatically came out of Commi's mouth.

Moral Lesson: This is, in itself, a moral lesson. Probably.


Part Four

nomemory was arranging her tea set when a visitor in the form of a bear intruded noisily in her humble abode.

"Hello there. Graww." the bear bared her fangs in an effort to smile.

However, it had conveyed the opposite effect. "WHO ARE YOU?!" She grabbed her teacups and hid it under the table.

"Please, don't be afraid. I'm Rohoph, your new neighbor." The bear extended her furry paws, but it only served to further enhance the onion's suspicions, seeing the sharp claws protruding from it. She was convinced that the bear came to eat her up.

"What are you doing here?!" and with an absentminded blink of her eyes "WHO ARE YOU?!"

"Um... I just told you."

"Huh? When--" she glanced at the empty table "Where are my teacups?! RELEASE THEM, YOU FIEND! Release them now or I'll be forced to use THIS!" nomemory waved her teaspoon angrily.

"So you've teaspooned other visitors?"

"THERE'S ALWAYS A FIRST!"

Moral Lesson: Cutlery can be lethal.


Part Five

Ao-kun was waiting for xpon to fetch him his morning paper when his loyal cat, ccppfan, purred and jumped on his lap.

"xpon was not here today so I fetched your paper myself, Blue!"

"Oh? Good girl! Here's your catnip." He gave her a fish shaped cookie. "So where is it?"

"For that..." she munched "you owe me another catnip!"

"WHAT?! I owe you?! I already paid you a cookie."

''That's for fetching. This payment is for information."

"I have to pay for the whereabouts of my paper?! FORGET IT!"

"Then you'll never see it." She smiled innocently.

He facepalmed. "Fine! I'll pay! Now where is it?"

"On top of the tree out front."

"ON TOP OF THE TREE! Gee, how will I ever get it down from there?" he remarked, with an air of absolute sarcasm.

"For that, it'll cost you another~"

"Why am I not surprised..."

Moral Lesson: Cats have dubious minds.

Spoiler: Shonen DCTP ch 1

Within the hallowed halls of the JDC Eastern branch headquarters, a ground-breaking historical event was taking place.

Due to immense damage and countless casualties, representatives from the AiCon Alliance and the ShinRan Community were called together to sign a treaty that will forge peace between the two warring organization that had been bitter rivals since the beginning of time.

However, it was not going well.

"Everyone, calm down! I'm sure you all have something to say, but we can't afford to waste time! Now, if you can just please sign the papers!" Chekhov Mcguffin, one of the members of the Neutral Council ordered to oversee the signing of the treaty, was trying to stop the two sides from fighting. It was to be an easy task for someone as Chek, if, they were really fighting.

But that word is not enough to portray the events that had happened.

It was no use talking to the congregation. Paper airplanes armed with chewing gum hovered above and sticked themselves to unwary victims. Bricks and shovels were thrown by both sides. Swords clashed, bones cracked, and eyes fell out of their respective sockets. Fire spread out on the back of the room, and numerous Pokemon were released. A number of heads rolled on the floor, and the two Soras were hanged lifeless on the ceiling. A still pumping heart was sitting alone in one of the chairs, detached from the body of ran mouri (not to be confused with Ran Mouri).

"We don't want no treaty! We want war, and that's what we're going to get! Charge!" shouted L Dash, the self-appointed spokesperson of the AiCon, as if they're just starting to head into battle. Eve, wielding a giant hammer, bashed the heads of every ShinRan withing range. One of the AiCons tossed a huge pitchfork onto the other side of the hall where the ShinRans were grouped. It struck the head of Ariel Rachel, who died instantly. "James Rye, you sicko!" Detective Tommy raised his sniper rifle and shot James Rye's throat within point blank range, completely obliterating his neck. AICHAN, in retaliation, grabbed a vase, stuffed it with grenades, and forcefully shoved it down Tommy's throat. X Ginx hacked away AICHAN's feet, but he too, met his destruction when RJ twisted off his limbs and made it into cookies. Yuriko accidentally casted her doom spell on a flower pot. xcommando facepalmed, only to notice a little too late that someone had put glue on his hands.

The AiCon overwhelmed the opposing force with its sheer quantity, but what the Shinran lacks in numbers it made up with colossal battle strategies.

Yet not one was ready to yield and accept defeat.

Indeed, when the whole JDC except the leaders joined in the fight, and as they said, "it's just for fun", the wreckage doubled. Flying teasets, rampaging bears, and scalpels filled the already ruined room. Abs. and Phoenix's harem army of deformed Abs.-like babies also chewed on every person present and made them into exact replicas of Abs..

And when it looked like things couldn't get any worse, Akonyl appeared out of nowhere with his Bee Princess outfit. A lot of them fainted at the sight. One had acquired a severe case of nosebleeding when Akonyl blushed.

Conia, silent at first, attempted to help his former ShinRan comrades, but was stopped by Chekhov. "No, you must not interfere. Remember Conia, you are now a member of the Neutral Council, you had denounced your ShinRanness. We cannot stop them-- noone can. Let's get out of here, they have planned their own demise. Call our trump card, and let him clear things up."

At Chekhov's orders, Conia reluctantly called their elite assassin, then left the headquarters. ''Farewell, my friends." He whispered.

The hall was completely covered in blood. They continued killing-- when suddenly, the assassin hired by the Neutral Council and the only member of the Ayumi Fans Club, Schill*k, barged in uninvited!

nomemory noticed him "Holy Jd! Everyone, look!" Upon hearing the alarmed voice of the onion, the crazy mob abruptly stopped. Paying no heed to her next words "What happened? What?" everyone dropped their weapons-- and in mangaluva and ccppfan's case, their popcorn-- and stared at the intruder. Three people vomited, RJ stabbed xpon, and Eve cursed under her breath.

With an evil look spread on his face and an "I love Ayumi" limited edition headband tied on his forehead, Schill*k released a murderous aura akin to Ayumi's. Everyone was blown away by the harsh, smelly wind except for one, single, courageous, and moldy riceball, Kleene.

"Ako-chan! Get everyone out of here! I'll take care of this one!"

"Huh? Er... Okay, be careful!" Akonyl, still on his Bee Princess outfit, shoved the stunned AiCons and ShinRans outside, and took one last glance on his beloved with tears on his eyes. Phoenix Tears saw this, and would have laughed her ass off if not for the gravity of the situation. Abs. laughed, anyways.

Akonyl used a shut-up kiss on Abs. (line deleted)

"I guess you're my dancing partner this time-- of course I did kill Commi after our dance, but that's another topic. I'm Sch*llok, how do you do?" the assassin jeered.

"Heh. Let's see who is going to duck dance when I'm finished with you." She looked at the exit. "They're gone. Now I don't need to hold back!" She released her own murderous aura, which caused the roof and the walls to explode upon impact.

"Oh? Strong are we? Nice! I will enjoy cutting you up, woman!" He grinned the most foulest of grins.

"Keep smiling like that so I can kick your teeth in."

"Hooow rude!!! I'll teach you proper manners!" Niceties ended, Schill*k wore his limited edition Ayumi wig over his head and charged full speed at Kleene, with a limited editon Ayumi knife on his hand. But the riceball, having honed her fighting skills inside kitchens and on top of sushis, blocked her foe's attack with her left arm, then twisted her hand around to grab Schill*k's wrist, thus neutralizing his weapon.

Having done so, she hit Schill*k with an elbow strike to the face, and while he was reeling, she followed it up with a steel punch to the stomach, and Schill*k flew out the window, Ayumi style!

TO BE CONTINUED

Spoiler: Author's Notes

Absolutely nothing on my mind right now.

[ccppfan]

Ohoo. Catnip! *noms on fish cookie*

Yeah well, I needed my cookies, no?

And oh, thaaaat. It was quite entertaining, except maybe the bloody parts. And the popcorn was delicious.

[Yurikochan]

Amazing! Can't wait for the second part!

I almost died of laughter reading mine *goes emo*

[Kleene Onigiri]

These are awesome!

Note to self: wear a bulletproof west on Halloween.

And now I understand why Schillok and me usually end up killing each other in mafia

[bluekaitou1412]

I dunno why but I enjoy writing up a story with Kleene or ccppfan as characters.

Next up: mangaluva's in a pinch. What will she do?