Sorry it took me so long to post.
Critiquing: mangaluva's first 5000 words of The Black Void
It's a bit difficult for me to comment about the story so far cause I presume we didn't really get far enough for the main plot to kick in, which I feel is a slight drawback (of course I could be wrong, and all the events that happened within these pages will affect the whole story). My impression of what you were trying to do was putting the characters in a regular mission, and after it's over, the main plot begins. It could also be that they just thought they destroyed the demon thing, but in reality they failed, and this would be one of the forces they have to deal with in the story.
There are a few details that do foreshadow stuff like this potential mission that was mentioned in the middle, or Alf's wolf issue. Considering it's a sequel I remember Alf from the first chapter of the first novel, so I was curious whether or not the other three girls are new characters or they were introduced in the first one as well.
The settings were interesting. I like how they have a forum where they can ask questions/get answers.
As far as characters go, maybe it's because my lack of familiarity with everyone except Alf, but I felt Alf was the only one I could follow properly. The other three cats, were the other three cats, and even though you gave them names, different talents and different descriptions, I found it slightly difficult to follow. What I think can maybe help with that is if you give those three some more defining characterization, like a certain attitude, or give one of them some sort of initial conflict that would keep this character's name (along with all of her characteristics) in the back of the reader's mind. That said, if these three characters were indeed established in the first novel, then it's not totally your fault if a reader who just reads the sequel can't follow them properly.
As far as the writing is concerned, my only problem in this piece is that it feels at times that you explain some things a little too much. For example:
He didn’t know how they formed clothing and objects when they turned from their bornforms to human form, only that they did and could control what formed to various extents. If he shifted into his bornform and then back into a human form, he could create a coat, but they’d moved from the back streets to a busier road and there were too many humans around. Humans tended to freak out over little things like a person turning into a dog and then back again, and he didn’t particularly want to be engendering human fear and confusion with a demonic statue in his bag.
I felt this bit about what humans tended to freak about a bit unnecessary cause it was a bit obvious. If you think it's necessary, though, the same information could be conveyed in a shorter sentence.
“Are you really going to sing that every time?” Ana complained. “It was funny for, like… a week. Now it’s just annoying.”
Ana finding it annoying was perfectly conveyed even without Ana remarking it's annoying.
That said, issues like these should probably be handled after the first draft is done and you're starting to edit, so when you continue writing, don't let it hinder you too much.
Considering this is the first post this week, and some people have not finished the piece of Week #2, I kinda think it would be a good idea to have a one week break. If anyone disagrees, I don't mind sending another 40 pages of my screenplay tomorrow.