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EDIT: I took out the swearing so hopefully it is a more enjoyable read.

Hey guys I just finished my FanFic I hope you all can read it and give me a review.
This is my first one so please give me suggestions on how to improve.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5986187/1/Shinichi_at_7_years_old

okay......

so
nice try.

if you want to make your readers laugh then you got me on that 

i really hope he can catch and kill that monster.

thanks for sharing anyway

Well, for make people laugh is good... But I don't like it too much... Well, just don't let that comments like mine beat you, besides, is your first work I don't wanna destroy it. Keep going if that's what you want. I liked the part when


Well, keep going if that's what you want